Desiree's Diary

March 20th, 2008

This is one of an occasional series of columns from Desiree,
who is serving an orphanage in the Republic of Uzbekistan, (formerly part of the USSR).
 

10-15-07
A tradition that has been long-standing here in The Land of Uz is that at the end of Ramadan, the new brides open their doors for three days and anyone is welcomed in to gawk at the beautiful spread on her decorated table. The guest is greeted by a veiled kelin (bride), who very elegantly bows her head and very delicately tilts her veil. At which the guest responds, by offering a standard blessing of long life.

The kelin invites you to sit and you are served hot food as well as invited to partake of the abundance of homemade cookies, cakes, sweets, fruits, and pastries that are adorning the overflowing table. While you eat, the kelin changes her dresses and comes back to serve you tea, which she presents skillfully and gracefully balanced on the top of her cupped fist. The dresses are changed with the intent of showing off all her beautiful gowns (wealth) and the tea is served to demonstrate her servitude.

No conversation takes place with the bride other than the greeting (which was fine since I knew none of them anyway). You are expected however to greet the other guests at the table, especially the mother-in-law. The guests rotate through like a ride at Disneyland . They come in, do the formatted greeting of the bride, get served soup, eat some sweets, check out the table spread, and then the mother-in-law must pray as each guest departs. Some stay for 5 minutes, others stay longer.

This is every little girl’s dream, as they dress up and roam their neighborhoods looking for all the open doors – and they do! They spend three days going to all the houses they can and then reporting to the neighborhood on who had the best spread. Fortunately for me, I only had to go one day and only visited four such houses and one memorial service, which is quite different, but nonetheless occurs on the same three days.

The kelin celebration is for ladies only. The memorial is for men. Any family that has had someone die since the last Ramadan opens their house for three days and the men gather outside the gate. I assume they are fed, but besides reading the Koran and praying, they also rotate through. Some men go to several of these a day. However, once my head covering was in place, I was escorted inside and seated on the floor with the grieving widow (whom I did not know). Food was served and I was instructed countless times to keep on eating. Several women in the room carried on a conversation and I was introduced as the "American," which to me was quite obvious since my head covering would not stay on and at one point my escort, breaking all tradition, ripped it right off my head.

Once I get more language down, I see this day as a huge opportunity for sharing. The ideas of coming to the table, breaking bread, preparing a place, serving, and the general hospitality are all common grounds that would make for some great dialogues. Maybe I’ll get the opportunity next year.

Desiree'

sponsored by Uzbekistan and Humanity, Inc
(in partnership with People International - www.GoPeople.org)

All contributions can be sent to:

Uzbekistan & Humanity Inc
Box 4224
Mission Viejo, CA 92690-4224