Monthly Archives: August 2010

A Prediction

I have maintained in a number of my emails that this nation is in trouble. Deep trouble. It’s not Obama. It’s not any one individual. It’s the government. Multi-layered bureaucratic fiefdoms whose lords of the fiefdoms, and their many lieutenants, … Continue reading

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Diabetic Comas . . .

I awoke this morning feeling inebriated. I felt like I had at least two glasses of wine. And I wasn’t totally awake. I was somewhere in the Twilight Zone. And, no, I had not been drinking. Evelyn says, and I … Continue reading

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The Girls and The Restaurant

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. It was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns. 10 years later … Continue reading

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A trip down memory lane.

Remember? You have to be a certain age to appreciate this. I can hear my mother now … THE BASIC RULES FOR CLOTHESLINES: (if you don’t know what clotheslines are, better skip this) 1. You had to wash the clothes … Continue reading

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Perspective is everything!

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on beds next to each other, outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?” The second kid says, “I’m in here to get … Continue reading

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25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.“If you”re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” 2. My mother taught me RELIGION.“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.” 3. … Continue reading

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Daffynitions . . .

1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi 2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton 3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope 4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the … Continue reading

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Honor Thy Father . . .

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the Parish. A leading senator and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, … Continue reading

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Drinking Exercises

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative2. Preliminary3. Proliferation4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:1. Specificity2. Anti-constitutionalistically3. Passive-aggressive disorder4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:1. No thanks, I’m … Continue reading

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The Three Way Test . . .

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you hear, or are out to repeat a rumor. In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance, … Continue reading

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